sH3's s0 s+RoNg
Let’s just get into it early – DEAD THE “SHE’S SO STRONG” NARRATIVE!
As some of you all may know, Houston rapper and Queen of the Hotties, Megan Thee Stallion was shot earlier this month after attending a pool party with one of the KarTRASHians and Trolly Lanez. Since the news broke, rumors have surfaced and spread of what really happened. Meg was called a transgendered woman as a justification for being shot (which is a trash statement within itself and deserves its own thinkpiece). People said she hit Tory first and justified her being shot for that...just a lot of bullshit.
But that’s not why I’m here. On July 27, Meg returned to social media to address the rumors. During an Instagram live session, Megan realized that she was still mourning the loss of her mother and grandmother, grappling with the fact that she had no parents left on this earth to guide and protect her. To cope, she surrounded herself with lots of people. She revealed to the audience that she was shot in both feet and surgery was required to remove the bullets. She said the bullets didn’t hit any bones or tendons; giving credit to her parents watching over her.
While I’m glad Meg is in somewhat a clear state of mind to even address this, I’m mad society drove her to give the details of something so traumatic.
First of all, baby girl was on the Live in full glam. There is no way I could be in a full beat while sharing this type of trauma because that makeup would be running like a leaky faucet. She didn’t owe us any type of presentation but I can only imagine what the comments would have been had she been natural.
Point B! While Meg is telling us that she’s still mourning the loss of her family and detailing how scary surgery is...she is holding back tears! On her own social media platform, she felt the need to show a strong face; like her tears and vulnerability would have been a sign of weakness. I would have been on that Live looking like Viola Davis.
The strong Black woman narrative is old and tired. It’s dangerous. Black women aren’t viewed as soft or dainty. Our vulnerability isn’t valued or allowed. We aren’t allowed to be sad or angry because it might upset someone else. We have to take whatever trauma is done unto us with a smile and continue to be the backbone of this country.
This strong woman narrative is probably one of the main reasons Black women are at a higher risk of dying during childbirth.
People think we don’t feel pain because we keep going and going. The narrative is probably one of the many reasons Black girls are more likely to be punished in school as opposed to their white counterparts (i.e. 15-year-old Grace in Oakland County who was jailed for not doing homework during a PANDEMIC). We aren’t given the space to be normal human beings and experience human emotions. We are told to just bottle it up! But you know what happens when a bottle is too full? It starts to overflow and once that outpouring starts, you can never put those contents back.
I’m here to tell my sisters YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BE STRONG! Everybody runs to us for help when they fall apart but when it’s our turn, we are left with nothing.
I want you to fall apart. I want you to be angry! I want to see your tears and hear your screams. It doesn’t mean you are weak. It tells me that there is a human in there with a soul.
You aren’t a cyborg and you are not everybody’s healer. Crumble when you feel broken. Why? Because there is beauty in rebuilding.
I know I do not emote to everyone. Only a small selection of people get access to my full vulnerability. And that’s how it should be. I don’t owe anyone my strength or weakness. What I am good at is letting the world know when I’m not in a space to be strong. I’ll hop on my social media with a quickness to let people know I am taking a break because I need to rebuild. I have no shame in my game.
Vulnerability is hard only because society has taught us to keep up a shield. I’m here to tell you to put it down, love. It’s okay! Feel your feelings and feel them to your fullest extent!